fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
