hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
you made out with another girl for some wings
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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