He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
