i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
