lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
