Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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