So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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