Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
