we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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