I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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