Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
