im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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