I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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