Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
