So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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