I want to make a zoo with you.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
