I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
