Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
