in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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