opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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