Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
