i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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