whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
