I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize