he wants to bone in the snuggie
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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