It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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