Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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