I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize
