It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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