there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
