from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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