And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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