singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
