I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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