Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
