i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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