ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
