I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
