just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
