I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
