i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
