Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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