I'm lost and stupid without you.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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