this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize