I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
