Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
be right there i have to get my cape
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
