I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
