i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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