I wish my penis had an off switch
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
