she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
