dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You can't just leave with hair like that
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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