I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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