And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize