Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
