My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
