Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
