that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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