So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
