i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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