none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
MIDGETS
????
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
